How do you deal with death? Can you even really deal with it though? When you have lost a loved one, do you ever really deal with it? It’s hard, trust me, I know. It will probably be one of the most difficult and hardest things you will have to deal with in your lifetime.
We are told from the very beginning, when we are kids, that death is a fact of life, right? Well, facts are disputable, aren’t they? Just like in a court case, they can be thrown out. When we throw out the facts of death, it allows us to create a better and easier situation to deal with for ourselves.
According to the website dictionary.com, the definition of death is this: the act of dying; the end of life; the total and permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an organism.
But when we die, we don’t really die right away. According to the book by Deepak Chopra titled “Life After Death,” at the moment of death, 99% of our cells are typically still functional. Our 3 billion codons (codons are a triplet of adjacent nucleotides in the messenger RNA chain that codes for a specific amino acid in the synthesis of a protein molecule) and the individual letters in the book of human DNA remain intact. So then, isn’t it safe to ask the question, do we really die right away?
Some parts of our bodies don’t usually get the message for some time. In the event that a person is revived, usually within ten minutes or so before the brain suffers permanent and irreparable damage from hypoxia (lack of oxygen to the brain), our organs just start working again, as if nothing had just happened. It’s almost like a computer rebooting after a power loss. Although, there are times when a reboot won’t work, and permanent power loss is unavoidable and becomes inevitable.
Everyone and every faith, whether real or fictional, deals with death in a different way.
Take the fictional race from Gene Roddenberry’s Star Trek, the Klingons, for example. They find death to be a highly honorable event. They even find it more honorable when a Klingon warrior dies in battle rather than dying of old age. In Klingon culture, dying in battle is considered the ultimate act of bravery and honor. It is believed that a warrior who dies in battle will be welcomed into Sto-Vo-Kor, the Klingon afterlife, where they will join other honored warriors. This belief system provides a sense of purpose and valor to their lives, making death not something to be feared, but rather embraced as a noble end.
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| Klingon Death Ritual |
The Klingon Death Ritual is a rite that is usually performed during or directly following the death of a warrior. The ritual involves opening and staring into the eyes of the dying individual, then slowly looking up at the sky while keeping the dying warrior’s eyes open and roaring loudly towards the heavens. This roar serves as a warning to the dead (presumably in Sto-vo-kor): “Beware, a Klingon warrior is about to arrive.” Once the ritual is completed, the body is unceremoniously discarded. They consider it to be “only an empty shell of the previous life which should be treated as such.” This practice reflects the Klingon belief that the spirit is what truly matters, and once it has departed, the physical body holds no significance. I’m glad I am not a Klingon.
Every religion in the real world, from Christianity to Buddhism, has a different view on what death means to them and how they try to deal with it.
In the Muslim faith, they always bury their loved ones and never cremate them to keep their ashes. It’s also a religious requirement that the body be ritually washed and draped before the burial, which usually takes place as soon as possible after death. Additionally, it’s not unusual for women to not attend the burials or for funeral directors to be involved in any aspect of the burial.
The Japanese culture is a mixture of Shinto and Buddhist beliefs; however, almost all funerals are Buddhist ceremonies, with 91% of the funerals being Buddhist in style.
After the death of a Japanese person, their lips are moistened with water in a ceremony called Mastugo-no-mizu, which translates to “Water of the Last Moment” in English. Mastugo-no-mizu is the giving of water with the hope of revival. Another interesting ritual is Kamidana-fuji. In this ritual, the household shrine is closed and covered in white paper to keep out the impure spirits of the dead. Makura-kazari is another fascinating ritual. It involves the decoration of the bedside of the deceased. A small table is covered with a white cloth (white or silver altar cloth) with three items: flowers, incense, and a candle placed next to the deceased’s bedside. In a Buddhist altar, a bowl of rice, dumplings, and water are offered in place of the flowers, incense, and candle. Sometimes, even a knife is placed upon the body of the deceased to drive away evil spirits in the afterlife. These rituals reflect the deep respect and care the Japanese culture has for the deceased, ensuring that their journey to the afterlife is peaceful and protected.
In the Hindu faith, there is one display of bereavement that can be heart-wrenching for others to watch. It’s the agonized weeping and screaming of mourners for the dead, hitting their own chests in torment and beating their heads against the ground.
Now, the Islamic faith is India’s second most prominent religion. The Islamic religion discourages excessive weeping, as a result of the Prophet Muhammad’s instruction at the time of his own son’s death: “We shall not say anything except that which pleases our Lord.”
The Christian faith has existed for thousands of years here on Earth since the time of Jesus Christ. Followers of Jesus have had different views on many things, from life to death. Over the centuries, Christian funeral practices have evolved significantly. In the past, funerals were often elaborate and followed strict religious protocols. Today, the modern Christian funeral has become more personalized and flexible. It doesn’t really follow any specific order or set schedule. The funeral generally reflects the personal choices of the deceased and their family. The ceremony itself is usually a solemn occasion, used to remember the deceased and to comfort and assure the family that their loved one has passed into a better place. Prayers and hymns often play a significant role in the service, contributing to the spiritual benefits of the funeral. Additionally, eulogies and speeches by those closest to the dearly departed help to honor and remember the deceased.
Many people are familiar with Christian death rituals, as they have heavily permeated secular culture in Canada, the United States, and around the world. For those who are not, one key identifier of Christian mourning is simply silence. The holding of one’s peace in respect for the loss of a loved one reflects a long tradition in Christianity of observing great loss through solitary reflection. However, a wise man once told me that holding your tears on the inside only rusts your soul. This sentiment highlights the importance of expressing grief and finding solace in the support of others during such difficult times.
By looking at all these religions, there is one common thread: they all hold the dearly departed in the highest regard. What may be unusual or weird for one person to see may be totally normal for another. This diversity in rituals and beliefs highlights the deep respect and care that different cultures and religions have for those who have passed away.
We each deal with death in a different and unique way. What may work for one person may not work for another. One person may be able to simply move on, while another may feel the need to talk about it and get things off their chest. It’s during times like these that we truly find out who our friends are, as they provide the support and understanding we need. This support allows us to start dealing with death… or does it?
Dealing with death is a deeply personal journey, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Some people find solace in their faith, believing that their loved ones have moved on to a better place. Others may find comfort in the memories they shared with the deceased, cherishing the moments they had together. For some, talking about their feelings and expressing their grief openly can be therapeutic, while others may prefer to grieve in silence. The important thing is to find what works best for you and to allow yourself the time and space to heal. Remember, it’s okay to seek help and lean on others during this difficult time. Grief is a natural part of life, and while it may never fully go away, it can become more manageable with time and support.
